I'll tell you a story
A little bit gory
A little bit happy
A little bit sad
Of Lily the Pink and her medicinal compound
And how it drove her mad

CHORUS:
We will drink, a drink, a drink
To Lily the Pink, the Pink, the Pink
The savior of (the savior of) the human race
She invented medicinal compound
Most efficacious in every case!

Poor King John
Felt terribly wrong
He'd never wanted to be king
Soaked his Crown Jewels in medicinal compound
And now we say “Long Live the Queen!”

Poor Sir Galad
He didn't like salad
When he ate vegetables, he was cross
So he dressed them with medicinal compound
And now he likes his salad tossed!

CHORUS

Kitty Caruthers
She envied her brothers
They could stand up when they'd go
She spritzed her bits with medicinal compound,
Now she can write her name in the snow!

Master Mint
Couldn't pitch a tent
With his wife he could not lay
Till she gave him medicinal compound
Now they roll in the hay all day

CHORUS

Cherri Tart
Had a very big "heart"
Knew every man in town, truth to tell
Mixed her lipstick with medicinal compound
And know she knows their wives as well!

Tira McSu
Didn't know what to do
She was awkward with men you know
Then she gargled with medicinal compound
And now she's gone from suck to blow

CHORUS

Teenage Cupcake
Was really quite concave
She was flatter than a bench
Took a bath in medicinal compound
Now she's an overflowing wench!

Ginger Snap
Had a regular chap
Until his fibbing broke her heart
She dosed him up with medicinal compound
Now every time he lies, he sharts

CHORUS

Lily died and she went up to heaven
How the church bells they did ring!
She took with her medicinal compound
Hark the herald angels sing!